3.5k in 30 days

Just seen on the news that there is a bloke who is going to cycle across America in 30 days covering 3,500 miles. That's quite a lot isn't it? wouldn't mind doing something like that, but right now, I don't think I could cycle to work. too much cake over Christmas :)

Even worse...

Since my last blog... I've discovered a fat lump!!! OMG it's like a baby saddlebag... right there on the side of my hip!!!! and it's only on one side, what is that all about????

This is NOT good... it's the kind of lump that's always in liposuction adverts!!!! you know the ones, removal of spot fat that won't go no matter how much exercise you do!

O no! I can't afford lipo, so how the hell do you get rid of that? I mean that calls for serious attention and if I go on a diet to lose weight I'm bound to lose my boobs instead! This is a disaster! plus I've now been on a health kick diet for over a week and I'm starving! I need proper food, not rabbit food.

It's just so hard being a woman! Back to the turbo I suppose, too cold to ride out!

The Definition of Boredom...

3 hrs 50 minutes on the Turbo in a week... and my bloody Christmas cellulite is still there! What's that all about..?? All I ate was 2 boxes of French Fancies, one box of Viennese Whirls (all of which were exceedingly good!) and a few [boxes of] chocolates! o yea, and some chocolate fudge cake and ice cream, amongst some other things that really are so insignificant I can't even remember them!

Really I don't understand it... I thought if you tipped them upside down, the calories fell out?

So now I am paying for it ... with boredom!

A cycling hero...

Got invited to a posh cycling black tie dinner and met 2004 Paris-Roubaix winner Magnus Backstedt ... (in case you can't tell, he's the one in the dress!)

He's almost as tall as me LOL. I thought I was gonnna have to lend him my heels (alright, maybe he IS a LITTLE bit taller than me. He's about 18 stone too!)

I haven't done enough...

O No... you know that moment when you've got a BIG HUGE ride that you are supposed to be training for ... and then you realise... it's like... a day away !!!! and you haven't trained enough...

Well... two weeks ago someone invited me to a Black Tie thingy and I knew my dress was a tad tight so I thought a few cycle trips to work would sort that out...

Well....

I've been a lazy bitch... and to top that I had a MacDonalds tonight... hamburger, two large fries, coke and strawberry sundae!

I better not breath or eat at the party tomorrow or I may split the dress LOL. In fact, I better not eat all day or I won't even get into it!

The Wall of Death!!!

At what point in my life did I think going to Newport Velodrome would be a good idea???

My mate Rich at work (sometimes I ride in with him) decided to book a two hour slot and dropped me an email to ask if I wanted to go on the round 'n' round. O yea! That looks good!

OMG!

Bikes with no brakes (what kind of idiot thought about doing that?) and fixed pedalling! You know, it's kind of natural when you're a bit knackered to just stop pedalling init?? Well, the bike kindly reminds you that you can't ... by dislocating your hip!! It's a bit like that moment on a rollercoaster when you want to get off but you know it's too late.

So I'm pedalling round the bottom on the black line looking at the red and blue line that is further up and I'm thinking "they've got to be fookin kiddin, right?? No way is the bike gonna stick up there!!!". Apparently its 43.5 degrees on the bank. Yea, woteva! From where I was, it was looking more like a 90 degree wall (well, you know, give or take a few degrees!).

But anyway, I did get up to the blue line and lo and behold the bike does actually stick up there if you ride fast enough... and that was fine, quite enjoyed that bit going round and round on my own, that bit was fun, yea, started to really enjoy myself ... BUT then they went and spoiled it and put other people on the wall with me!!!! That's when I started checking my watch to see when the two hours of torture would be over.

As for the coach... OMG he was like a school teacher. I was like "I don't wanna do this bit" and he was like "O yes you are!!". I nearly sh1t me pants ha ha. Who's paying who??? Then he was telling me to speed up and "close the gap".. No way, do I have to remind him there are no brakes! And then I needed desparately to adjust me padding coz me flower was starting to burn... and you wanna try doing that when you can't stop pedalling... it's not easy I can tell you!! LOL

I suppose getting used to no brakes, fixed pedalling and riding on a wall is a lot to take in in one go and Rich says that I did actually do really well for my first time (Hmmm... I've heard that before somewhere???) and that I'll enjoy it more next time (yea, heard that one before as well LOL). Hang on a minute, what's he talking about? Next time???? Eek!!

Best season...??

Autumn.

In my opinion, quite simply the best season to cycle in. I love the chilled air, being able to get togged up snug as a bug in my thermal cycling gear, the cold air on my face and in my lungs.

Going to work in the morning, leaving in the dark, watching the sun rise as I pass Birmingham Airport; a plane taking off, the lights of the plane shining along the wings as the low clouds and mist partly conceal it, giving it almost an earie, ghostly look as it flies towards me.

Leaving work in the cool sunshine; red, russet brown, orange and yellow trees pathing the way. The smell of bonfires, and as I near home, coming over the hills, looking across the landscape towards the outskirts of Birmingham... Vibrant red, orange and yellow swirly sunset with far away city lights that make the landscape look like it's being sprinkled with glitter.

Wish I could download my brain to show you what I see.