PHUK.dis on Tour

The official PHUK.dis AMR London to Paris 2008 Route 2 video

click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvRf8CWNHeU

London to Paris 27th July 2008 - Day 5

So, no early start this morning thank God. Phil had to wait for me to get ready. Absolutely PHUKing great... 3 coldsores for my trouble! Breakfast, then packing and then Phil and Eva went to see the Tour and Team PHUKdis found a pub near Gar Du Nord rail station and basically sat round drinking for the day. I did manage to get up to see Sacre Coeur, which is supposed to be the highest place in Paris (well, there were enough bloody steps to climb in the heat!) (photo's attached, the building and view).

Ordered a "well done" steak and when it came it was still bleeding Uggh!

Got the 6pm train back and then back in England at just after 8, back home by 12. I so love my own bed.

... and I think it's safe to say that after nearly 300 miles I'm a little more confident on my bike now than I was when I first got back on after my accident :)

O yea, and think I've raised about £1300. Will have to find a new challenge now so watch this space.

London to Paris 26th July 2008 - Day 4

So, the last day of riding. Think we did 64 miles. Same temperature as yesterday, 4 big climbs. It was a bit chilly to start so we went all out to get as many miles in before the sun came out. I even managed to beat Nic to lunch! By which time the sun had come out and there was a big climb out from lunch which did me in a bit.

We all ended up in a cafe 15 miles from Paris and left with an hour to do it. Easy! Actually managed to make the peleton this time, ride down the Champs Elysses with the rest of the AMR riders and me, Hetta and Simon were pretty much in the first riders to arrive at the Eiffel Tower. Must admit tho, it was a bit of an anti-climax after last year when we were late (due to being in the pub!) and there were 450 plus people there to cheer us in. I admitted to the team later that I preferred last year's arrival and surprisingly (or not so surprisingly I suppose) they felt the same. So had the photo's in our AMR kit and then donned the PHUK.dis kit for the first official photo.

After the photo's it was back to the hotel, nice shower, got ready. Had the room to myself as Hetta had to go home, but later Phil stayed in my room so that Simon and his girlfriend could stay together (his girlfriend came to meet him and hadn't booked a hotel). So, had the celebration meal and then we all went for a drink. Got to bed about 1am. Phil chatted until 3! I was so knackered! Anyway, the photo's are of PHUK.dis and me, Eva and Phil (aka the National Grid possey)

London to Paris 25th July 2008 - Day 3

Another long, hot and hilly day! Luckily today it wasn't so sunny, the sun was hiding behind the clouds, so although it was as hot and hilly as yesterday, the sun wasn't beating down on us so it made all the difference, and I was back up to speed today. Did a lot of riding with Patrick, including the first 2 miles out which was a good climb. They certainly know how to wake you up in the morning! Took a wrong turn with Patrick and didn't realise until we had done about a mile downhill!!! (".)

We pissed around a lot at lunch time and were last to leave which meant the broom wagon caught up with us. It's a bit disconcerting having the broom wagon behind you but me and Patrick put paid to the driver's "motivational chat" by riding 2mph and slowing the van down.

Mo the photographer made up a new saying. "Say No.. to camel toe" LOL. One guy rode in his girlfriend's bikini top today, each table at last night's meal gave 10 Euro's to AMR if he did it, so he couldn't really say no.

Food at the hotel tonight was as bad as last night, even worse I think. Me, Danny and John had already opted to pay for our own in town (it would seem Danny is even more fussy than me!) and we sent a text to the others telling them we were having steak and chips. Nic, Phil and Simon turned up in town later to tell us about their "delicious" rice, fried chicken and courgette! Not so delicious apparently, and poor Ray asked for the veggie option, so he got no chicken and extra rice! Considering the french are THE cycling nation they just seem to have no clue when it comes to feeding cyclists. Breakfast ain't much better. Most of us just ride out on croissants.

London to Paris 24th July 2008 - Day 2

Well, what can I say about Day 2.... HOT.... and LONG... and VERY HILLY! The first 1.5 miles was an 8% climb and that basically set the tone for the day. 88 miles to go and, 30 degrees centigrade, and no cloud cover. Managed to get suntan lotion in my eyes so they stung all morning. Had to find a chemist and get some eyewash. The best I could do with my limited language skills was to buy a box of 48[!] eyewashes. Couldn't give 'em away! The pain finally subsided at lunchtime. By lunch the pain and heat had caused a headache and I had to force my food down. Felt totally sick and thought I was not going to make the day, but after lunch when the pain in my eyes had subsided things started to pick up.

Funny story of the day... not the most ladylike thing to do but was riding with a guy and my eyes were streaming because of the suntan lotion in them and my nose was full to dripping! All I could think of was "please just ride on because I need to get rid of this snot". Anyway, after what seemed like an age the guy said, "I'm gonna crack on now, see ya". "Thank God" I thought and as soon as he was 10 yards ahead I let out one massive snot shot... only then didn't I hear a scream.... turned out some guy had ridden up silently behind me! I got him with a proper spiderman slingshot! LOL. My team mates found it really funny when I eventually caught up with them!

Lunchtime was the other side of this bridge... Looks flat yea? [see first photo]. Nope... see next photo!) View from the top was brilliant tho! and windy! thought my bike was going to get blown off the bridge on the way down.

Sun finally went behind the clouds for the last 10 miles of the day. I was riding with Patrick (one of Action Medical Research's staff riders) and we were finally able to crack on... both of us had struggled because he had done about as much training as me and the heat was killing us. We rewarded ourselves with a cornetto!

London to Paris 23rd July 2008 - PHUK.dis Premiere - Day 1

So PHUK.dis premiered the kit today! And we looked wicked even if I do say so myself. We chose to be the last to ride out at the start (Kingston University). Turns out having our nicknames on our arses is an excellent idea... you knew who was riding in front of you. Like I said tho, my shorts were a tad tight and besides being worried about a deep vein thrombosis because they were cutting the circulation off in my legs, I was a tad worried they would split and expose my arse... but they made it through the day.

Managed to lose Eva all day, but it was only 60 miles thankfully. It was a little bit hilly but I made it up all the hills (some members of my team didn't!). A few of the team took a detour to do Ditchling Beacon but I opted out having not done any training, as it was hot and I didn't want to knacker myself out.

Got bit on the knee by something. Not sure what.

Phil hooked up with Adam (and over the next four days they became firm friends!). Seems they have a lot in common, Phil having done professional riding in the past and Adam being a wannabe.

Got to Newhaven at about 2, and we all sat in a pub watching the Tour De France (Alpe D'huez stage) before getting the ferry. Ferry crossing was about 4 hours so managed to get some kip. Also somehow managed to get a puncture when I went to get off the boat, so got a lift to the hotel in the van (well, no one wants to fix a puncture at 11pm at night!). I reckon it was sabotage... someone obviously heard how good team PHUK.dis are and decided to take out their lead rider! LOL

22nd July - The meal

Well, I need to update you on what happened on the ride so I'll do it day be day. 22nd July was the pre-ride meal. Phil couldn't get the day off work so couldn't pick me and Eva up until 6pm. I was quite glad to be honest because I'm a bit of a nightmare when it comes to packing. Anyway eventually got to the restaurant in Kingston at about 8. Sat Nav... who needs em! does help if you know the address of where you are going!

Of course, had to prove at the meal that I have earned by nickname 3 Foot and Peter Mann (Big Ears) had brought a tape measure along. Inside leg ... 36 inches (thank God I got that measurement right or I might have been chucked off the team!

Nic gave me my kit. O my God. he wasn't lying when he said it was Race Fit!!! Tried it on in the hotel room... a tad small, it looked more like a skin suit! Hetta took a Borat mankini style pose picture of me in my bib shorts on my phone and we sent it to the lads for a laugh. Nic says it's going on the website (".)

My nickname is printed across the arse of the shorts. Well, now I am worried that people will think this is a reference to the width of my arse rather than the length of my legs! (".)